{ lib, config, ... }:

{
  programs.fish = {
    functions = {
      fish_greeting = {
        body = ''
        set memes \
          "Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy." \
          "Daddy, chill!" \
          "What the hell is even that?!" \
          "Road work ahead? Yeah, I sure hope it does!" \
          "Look at all those chickens!" \
          "I smell like beef" \
          "Say, Coloardo - I'M A GIRAFFE" \
          "I didn't get no sleep cause of y'all, y'all not gone get any sleep cause of me!" \
          "This is the dollar store, how good can it be?" \
          "That was legitness" \
          "Deez nuts" \
          "I wanna be a cowboy baby" \
          "Can I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle?" \
          "I'm lesbian. I thought you were American."

        set choose_meme (random)"%"(count $memes)
        set choose_meme $memes[(math $choose_meme"+1")]

        printf (set_color F90)"%s\n" $choose_meme
        '';
        onEvent = "fish_greeting";
      };
    };
  };
}